I want to die

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Shes going to marry someone else in the spring. She was supposed to marry me... I wanted to spend my life with her so badly and I thought she did to. but now I understand more then ever that it could never be. That she was never going to wait for me. I just don't know know what to do. I'm so hurt and angry, I hate her so much. And yet I'm happy that she is happy.... Love is a strange thing. I'm so afraid of being alone.